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xerinmichellexFirst of all, last week I was complaining about my NaNo. Well, I temporary employed a new Muse, and she is working out so much better than my old one. I may need to keep her on the payroll permanently. I might actually finish my WIP next week. *fingers crossed*
Previous Episode
Last time we were with the gang from The Real Ghost Possessions of Mystic Falls, a whole lotta backstabbing went down. Damon backstabbed Stefan by revealing he made a deal with Emily Bennet--Bonnie's ancestor--that sealed Katherine in a super secret crypt below the church she was burned in. The backstabbing continued on Damon's end with the revelation that his "BIG plans" were to bring Katherine back with the use of Emily's amulet...as well as the 27 other vampires believed to have perished in the church. Needless to say, Stefan was not too happy. At the same time, Elena, Caroline, and Bonnie performed a little seance which resulted in Emily possessing Bonnie's body so she could destroy the necklace Damon was after--backstabbing him because he promised to protect her lineage if she swore to bring Katherine back. Being a witch, Emily was not bound to keep the same promise a vampire keeps and she destroyed the amulet, pissing Damon off in the process. He attacked Bonnie--who lived because Stefan is not afraid to exchange fluids, Edward--and pouted while he stared at Fell's Church. Damon told Stefan he was leaving Mystic Falls; likewise, Stefan said the same thing to Elena who really, really wants to make things work out now. We do not have to borrow Alice Cullen to know the Salvatore Brothers are going nowhere. And finally, Aunt Jenna is about to be stabbed in the neck at any time because both of her gentlemen callers--Alaric "Can't Cross Over a Threshold Without an Invite" Saltzman and Not-So-Dead-As-Previously-Thought Logan--appear to be vampires.
The show picks up where it left off with Logan begging for an all access pass to the Gilbert house. Aunt Jenna, be strong. Logan plays along with the out of town story Jenna tells him. He is less playful when he learns someone sent the story to Jenna in an email. (My guess is Cop Mom.) Once again, Logan begs to be invited in. Note to Logan, do not bring up your ex-girlfriend's lack of self esteem when you want something from her. Like a good girl, Aunt Jenna slams the door in Logan's face.
Shut down by a stupid wooden door, Logan goes out to score. By "score", I mean kill someone. There's the old guy next door who's taking out his garbage. How about the perky, female jogger that’s coming towards you? Female jogger it is. The jogger, who introduces herself as Daphne, recognizes Logan as the guy on the T.V. Logan recognizes her as his dinner and he eats her.
...Title card flashes...
The next morning, Jeremy is reading from his ancestor's journal. Out loud for the audience to hear, instead of making them try to decipher the tiny, cursive handwriting. Basically, the entry talks about Jonathan Gilbert's--that would be the ancestor--fear of the evening. Something evil lurks there. It may or may not be dating Jonathan's sister.
Jeremy: Inspired!
Jeremy drags out his sketching pad and begins to draw. Because that's his hobby, obviously. It's nice to see a Gilbert doing something, isn't it, Elena? Lead on by Jonathan Gilbert's journal, Jeremy sketches out a vampire.
Spying him drawing again, Elena runs downstairs and tattles to Aunt Jenna. Gosh! First he's doing homework and extra credit, now he's drawing! What's next--is Jeremy all of sudden going to start planning for his future? The celebration that Jeremy's acting more normal than ever passes and Jenna asks Elena how things are going with Stefan. Elena tells her hip, young guardian that Stefan's moving away. Woe! Aunt Jenna changes the subject with bringing up her own male issues. Logan’s back, and Jenna don’t like it. Elena suggests Jenna should ignore Logan.
Elena: Maybe he'll go away like last time.
I don't think so, but keep livin' the dream, Elena.
At the Salvatore Boarding House, Stefan wants to know where Damon plans to going. Damon jokes London, where he has friends. "You don't have any friends," Stefan points out. Nor do you, Stefan, what with Damon staking them all and you pushing away the one person who might care about you. Damon then suggests they go some place together. Stefan's not having the same vision. "I'm going to live my life as far away from you as possible." I'm starting to get that Damon has abandonment issues. Explains why he can't give up on Katherine. Too bad she's stuck in her crypt now that Emily destroyed the voodoo necklace.
Stefan and Damon are interrupted by the doorbell ringing. Ah, Elena's stopped by...No, it's Cop Mom. Guess they found Logan's victim, as she's there to speak with Damon. Making Cop Mom believe Stefan has no idea about vampires (snort!), Damon leads her out back. Cop Mom totally understands: "Of course, kids are too young to be brought into this." Never mind Stefan's old enough to be your great grandfather and he doesn't look that much younger than Damon.
Cop Mom gets right to her visit and tells Damon there's been another vampire attack. Well, give a gold star to Cop Mom. Guess it's time to round-up all the new arrivals. Given how small the town seems to be, I don't think that'll be a problem. Why don't you start over at the high school and question the new history teacher? Better yet, why don't you go and find out if Logan's body is where you buried it.
Seriously messing with Damon's vacation plans, Cop Mom taps Damon for his help. He is the only one who has staked a vampire...besides Stefan, who's too young for these sorts of things, and who is overhearing the conversation from the living room.
At least things are looking up for Caroline and Matt (CarMatt) as they giggle like school girls in the hallway. The look on Tyler's face reads Matt is bonkers for going out with Caroline. Even Elena realizes they are hanging out more than normal--but admits it beats dating Damon who, thus far, has tried to kill both of Elena's best friends. Talking about that, it's so weird hearing Bonnie talk about Damon and Stefan as vampires. I'm going to need to get use to it. Sadly, won't happen for a while, as Bonnie's only purpose is to say she's dealing with the vampire secret, but she's grateful that Stefan saved her life.
When asked about him again, Elena's mood is non-too brighter. She believes he's already gone. Bonnie says she smoking crack because he'd at least say goodbye. Elena thinks he wouldn't. Bonnie finally realizes Elena is smoking crack because she still cares about Stefan--maybe even loves him--even though he's a vampire. Determined to move forward with her life, Elena tries convincing herself she would be selfish if she asked Stefan to stay. Bonnie agrees, bringing up that Elena and Stefan could never have a future together. And then The Banner of Future falls on Elena. Without Bonnie's help I might add. I should also add I did not make up the banner part--it really says "future" and "promise" but has to do more with Career Day that's going on than Elena's relationship issues. I think.
Wrangling Damon into the vampire staking club once more, Cop Mom leaves so the two brothers can get back to their hostility and resentment towards one another. Stefan blames Damon for the recent "animal attack", while Damon says it wasn't him: "It's another vampire in town." Stefan would be more inclined to believe Damon, if D-bag hadn't been off killing people earlier in the season. Bright spot, this new human killing makes it clear Stefan can't go without the problem being solved. Goooooooo, Team!
So, he goes to Mystic Falls High to wait for Elena. When she comes out, she thinks she is looking at a mirage. No, Elena, you are not having a Bella moment. It really is Stefan. Don't go cliff jumping, please.
At the same time, there's a quick shot of Tyler interrogating Matt about Caroline Gate. It's brief, hardly worth a mention, but it needs to be pointed out that Matt--once again--brushes off the relationship as nothing exciting. You are on notice, Matt.
Stefan fills Elena in on Cop Mom's visit a few hours ago. He finally rules out his brother, since Damon's trying to keep a low profile. (Yes, having the Mystic Falls' Sheriff know you can stake vampires counts in keeping one’s activities really low on the radar.) At any rate, Damon's tracking the vampire now and Stefan just came by to tell Elena to be careful. That is all. He didn't come by to say he was staying or that he wants Elena like a fat kid wants cake. It is purely on a professional level. M'kay? Peace out.
Elena's let down. She thought he was saying goodbye. It would really help in her moving on department. Even Stefan's lame "not yet" answer in terms of his departure plans disappoints Elena. Dear God, woman, I can see the “I love you” hearts shooting from your eyes. Jump him already. I am not going to sit through 12 more episodes of you flip-flopping over wanting Stefan. I swear I won't!
On a lighter side, Jeremy is still drawing vampires. Oh, is he planning a new vampire comic book? Because those never get old! /sarcasm
Aunt Jenna questions Jeremy about his return to art.
Jenna: Not that it's bad or anything, and it's not like I'm suggesting you go back to your old ways of smoking pot and drinking alcohol. It's just...you're starting to freak me out, Jeremy. Just a little.
Jeremy explains that he found his new muse: Jonathan Gilbert's diary from the 1800's. It all makes sense to Jenna now. She tells Jeremy that Jonathan was a writer...of fiction. He wrote about vampires and demons, in a truly fictitious sense. Jonathan made things up...because it wasn’t non-fiction he was interested in. Jeremy's let down, believing Jonathan Gilbert was a little insane, not that he had an over active imagination. Boy, I cannot wait until Jeremy finds out what Elena knows.
Leaving the debate over Jonathan Gilbert's level of delusions, we find Caroline to be the insane one because she's helping Damon track downLogan the vampire. She's out with the Go-Go-Compass--because Damon would interfere with it if he tried to use it, duh!--and it leads her to an empty warehouse. Damon catches up and dismisses Caroline with a little mind freak action. At least he didn't take a bite to go.
Not thinking anything bad could happen in a rundown, spooky, old warehouse, Damon pops on in for a quick look. And is promptly gunned down by Logan toting a gun and wooden bullets.
Damon: Dammit! I just bought this shirt!
He tries to reason with Logan to put the gun down...bang!...but Logan's not interested. Logan’s blames Damon for what he's become. (That is only partially the truth.) Damon fesses up that he only killed Logan, someone else turned him into a vampire. That makes two vampires in Mystic Falls. Damon wants to know who the other is. It's the Question of the Day--who turned Logan?--and it's going to be asked over and over and over. My money's on Alaric, since he's the only other vampire in town.
Back to the tragic Ode of Logan: Logan tells Damon he was buried behind the used car lot near the highway. So that's where the kids of Mystic Falls put the pet sematary. Good to know for future reference.
Damon explains the process of becoming a Count Dracula, which the audience knows by heart. It doesn’t help Logan in answering the Question of the Day. During this whole exchange, Damon is picking wooden splinters out of his wounds and mumbling the occasional "huh uh" to show he's listening to Logan.
Where Vicki was pathetic as a vampire, Logan's a tad more psychotic. And by "tad" I mean extremely. Logan's finding it very frustrating to be a vampire. Mostly, it's the whole invitation inside homes deal. That’s because he lives alone; therefore he can never go home.
Logan: "So now I'm at the Ramada watching pay-per-view all day, eating everything in sight, including housekeeping."
But, it doesn’t stop there. Logan likes the killing part of being a vampire. A lot. Proud of his work, Logan shows Damon where he's been keeping the bodies. It's right here in the warehouse. My, that's a big stack. I've said it before, I'll say it again: Mystic Falls is going to need to start importing red shirts to maintain their population.
Leaving Damon's roundtable chat with Logan for the time being, Career Day at Mystic Falls High is underway. Really? They still have those things? I don't remember my high school having a Career Day. Huh. Before we actually get into the career planning, Cop Mom and Mayor Lockwood are discussing their latest vampire problem. Awww, how cute. They think they're safe because they are in a crowded area. Too bad the vampires are walking amongst you.
At the fair, Jeremy runs into Tyler. Same old, same with the two, Tyler acts like a jackass and Jeremy plays the dopey kid brother. But, Jeremy soon discovers that Tyler has a hidden talent for drawing. Like him! Does this mean they're going to be rivals or could they become best friends? They got the rival thing done pretty good--why mess with a good thing?
Continue to focus on the future of our main characters, Elena teases Matt about his wanting to be an astronaut when he was younger. And what do you want to be, missy? Elena is not spilling. They spend some time catching up. Matt asks about Stefan, Elena turns all different colors of red and pulls the reliable "Oh, look over there!" distraction. Caroline watches the whole ordeal from afar. Since Elena and Matt have a history together, the scene doesn't do much for Caroline's self esteem and she walks away from it. Caroline leaves just as Elena asks Matt about the two of them. It's a good thing Caroline isn't around because, just with Tyler, Matt claims it is nothing important. What is with these kids and expressing their true emotions? Matt, I'm going to strangle you if you don't step up and...Oh, hey, Stefan.
Checking in with Damon and his new vampire buddy (“See, Stefan? I do have friends.”), Logan has moved from the aggressive stage to the bitter stage. Logan hates that all he think about Aunt Jenna. "Why am I so overly emotional?" The million dollar answer is provided by Damon: "Well, you probably love her." Fun Vampire Fact: Human emotions get amplified when they're turned into a vampire. Logan does not like so much. In his anger, he spills a big secret to Damon. Seems The Council has journals that are passed down through the founding families. Obviously, something happened to keep Jonathan Gilbert's journal away from The Council. It makes me think maybe there was a pulling away on the Gilberts’ side from The Council.
Just like the question of the day is who turned Logan (*coughAlaricSaltzmancough*), Logan has his own hang up about Damon's ability to walk in the sun. They banter on back and forth like an old married couple. Neither spills their secret--one of whom doesn't know the answer and the other being too stubborn to reveal his. Logan decides to take his anger out on the unsuspecting townspeople. He shoots Damon a few more times for a head start.
Damon: Aw, come on, man. I just finished picking the wood out of this shirt. son of a bitch, who does he think he is, gonna get him back...
At the Career Fair--where I assume Logan is headed--Stefan is there to watch out for Elena, not plan out his future. That's really been planned out for him. Elena doesn't want to be baby-sat and tries to shake him off. So he can stay near her, Stefan tells her that he wanted to be a doctor. Back before he started to have "blood issues." Dr. Cullen sure doesn't seem to have an issue.
Stefan continues by telling Elena that he tried out all sorts of things during his 140 years of being undead. The "lots of things" part strikes Elena. "Didn't love anything enough to stick to it?" she asks, not knowing that there is one thing Stefan seems to really love to stick around for. (Hint: it’s you, Elena!) Or, maybe she does know and is trying to bait him. Not taking the worm, Stefan explains he had to move on before people realized he didn't age--like he has to do now.
Elena: But, you've only been here a couple months. People don't notice if you age in that amount of time.
Stefan: No, I must go before they catch on. I must. It is my curse as a vampire.
He then asks Elena what she wants to be in her future. Yeah, like brown haired, mortal girls in love with vampires actually have future goals. Aaaaand, Elena wants to be...nothing. For the love of--! Oh, I see what you're doing. Elena doesn't care about her future when it doesn't include Stefan. Oh, jeez. How many cliffs are there in Mystic Falls? Taking a bullet for Stefan--something Damon would admire--Elena tells Stefan to leave so the pain can't become worse by him dragging his feet in the mud. Your selflessness reminds me of another girl who had no hopes and/or dreams, Elena. Tread carefully.
The pity party lets up with Aunt Jenna hurrying over. She's upset because he's here. The "he" would be Logan. Knowing Logan is suppose to be dead, Stefan's spidey sense goes off. He leaves, just like Elena wanted--only Elena doesn't really want him to go so she's distressed and follows Stefan to beg him to stay again because it worked so well in the woods and surely he can’t deny her twice, can he?
Stefan locates Logan in another room...and he does not approve.
Stefan: I don't approve, Logan. I don't like you showing up here like this.
The two vampire boys are joined by the very living Elena and Aunt Jenna. As Elena has no idea what happened to Logan, I can understand why she isn't keeping her distance. Stefan sort of fills in the blanks by hinting to Elena she and Jenna should go someplace else.
When they've left, Stefan asks Logan what he wants. A true One Tune Tommy, Logan wants to know how he can become a day-walker. He tries to force Stefan into telling him by reminding him of his celebrity status. It would be so easy for him to reveal vampires exist, according to Logan. Stefan doesn't buy his bluff. He tells Logan he can never learn how to walk in the day and to stop making his silly threats.
While the boys sort things out, Elena grills Aunt Jenna about Logan's unannounced visit the night before. Jenna replies he seemed a bit manic and kept insisting that he be invited in. Elena knows for certain now. She puts her foot down and tells Jenna not to speak or look at Logan ever again. Aunt Jenna looks at Elena like she's lost it. Now is the time for that other vampire, Alaric Saltzman, to join Elena and Aunt Jenna. Elena believes he's vampire free, so she leaves Jenna in his care. Going to regret that if Jenna’s bloodless body is discovered in the storage closet at the end of the night, Elena.
Elena finds Stefan outside talking on the phone to Damon. Damon's hysterical over being pawned by a loser like Logan, so he's itching for some revenge. He tells Stefan he's coming over to the school. Elena gives Stefan the "We need to talk. No, seriously." look.
During the time Stefan takes to fill Elena in, Caroline shows Cop Mom what she wants to be: A broadcast journalist. Cop Mom is...not so supportive and points out that Caroline never reads the paper. No wonder Caroline has issues. Once Caroline's left, Logan makes his presence known to Cop Mom. Just as suspected, it was Cop Mom who buried Logan's body in the pet sematary--but she didn't turn him. Logan is not happy, mostly because he didn't know there would be no death benefits provided by The Council if he should die in the line of duty. Them's the brakes, sweetie. Since Logan revealed himself to Cop Mom, it’s clear she's going to have to stake him. She calls in back-up.
Nursing the similarity high, Jeremy tries to connect with Tyler on an artistic level. Tyler does not want to play. "Let's hang out because we did the same chick," he sarcastically says. He tells Jeremy that Vicki did a lot of guys--Jeremy should look them up. This sets Jeremy off and he slams Tyler into the lockers. The fight is short lived as Mayor Lockwood and Alaric break the two up. Mayor Lockwood grabs Jeremy and takes him outside, much to Alaric's chagrin.
Already outside is Caroline. She’s waiting for Bonnie as Logan pulls. He offers to drive her home. As Bonnie is not seen for the rest of the episode, Caroline accepts. I don't know what is worse, Caroline's lack of a vampire radar, or the fact that Logan use to baby-sit Caroline when she was younger. Really, Cop Mom? You let Logan take care of your daughter? I just...I do not understand. Not adding to the situation is Matt clearly standing a few feet away, watching the whole thing. No, CarMatt must live on! It must!
Caroline takes the opportunity to interview Logan about the wonderful world of journalism for her future. If she has one after this...
Caroline: So, when did you know you wanted to be a journalist?
Logan: Not now, Caroline.
Caroline: Who was your favorite interview?
Logan: Don't care, Caroline.
Caroline: You know, you should really tan or something. Your pasty look doesn't translate well on the television screen.
Logan: ARGGG!
Logan slams Caroline's head into the car window and speeds away. Poor Caroline. First it's Damon using her as a drinking well, then he tries to rip out her throat. Later Damon calls her as deep as a kiddie pool. Now her skull has been crushed by Logan. That girl is going to have one hell of a migraine.
Inside, Elena and Stefan are trying to track down Logan after they got distracted from keeping an eye on him. Gee, could they have been staring into each other's eyes for too long? They run into Matt who tells them he saw Logan drive off with Caroline. Stefan goes off, telling Elena to stay at the school. Here's hoping she listens–‘cause, really, when was the last time she did?
The Littlest Gilbert is also under the control of authority, as Mayor Lockwood drags him and Tyler outside to continue what they started. Apparently, real men fight their battles not in the school, but outside it so they don't get caught. Jeremy sort of blinks at the reasoning, as do I. Tyler, surprisingly, doesn't want to fight anymore. Mayor Lockwood gets testy and for a second I think he's about to fight Jeremy himself. All fighting plans are spoiled when Alaric joins the festivities. Mr. Lockwood asks what Alaric thinks he's doing. Scoring points for me, Alaric tells Mayor Lockwood what he thinks of him, "You look like a full grown, alpha male douchebag."
Jeremy: Wow, Mr. Alaric, sir, you’re a badass.
Never being told to his face what he truly his, Mayor Lockwood tells Alaric he can take his job away. Considering the last history teacher got eaten by a vampire, good luck with that, Mr. Lockwood. A very un-Alpha dog thing, Mayor Lockwood tucks his tail between his legs and leaves. So, maybe the VD producers did know what they were doing when they cast Matt Davis. Hmmm....
With two vampires and the Mystic Falls police force after him, Logan takes the time out of his busy schedule to call Cop Mom and gloat that he has her daughter--even going as far as to tell Cop Mom he's going to turn Caroline into a vampire. Don't make threats you cannot keep, Logan. Though he's a vampire, Logan still follows the common laws of the mortals and slows down at the intersection...Giving Stefan the perfect opportunity to tear the car door open and fling Logan on the ground.
Logan: I was stopping for the stop sign, you asshole!
As he tries to get up, Damon arrives looking for payback.
Damon: Eat wood, mother fucker!
Logan whines like a little girl now that the shoe is on the other foot and he's peppered with wooden bullets. Stefan takes Caroline home, leaving his homicidal brother to finish off Logan. Before that, Damon finishes up Logan’s call with Cop Mom and let’s her know where he is. Damon can only perform with an audience, it seems.
Killing time before the law enforcement arrives, Damon asks the Question of the Day. Look, Logan's made it pretty clear he doesn't know. Move on, Damon. Logan calls Damon out for siding with the humans--which, I guess, must be an insult in vampire language. It works and Damon goes in for the final staking. Lo! What's this? Logan brings up the vampire tomb holding Katherine. For someone who was just turned into a vampire, Logan sure knows a lot about The Tomb. Especially since he tells Damon he knows another way of unlocking it. Damon, I think Logan's pulling your leg. He's a reporter--he'd say anything to get you to put down your stake.
Naturally with The Tomb invoked, Damon becomes intrigued and puts down his stake. Where are your sense of morals, Damon? Logan tells Damon he'll help him open up The Tomb. First, though, Damon stages the scene to make it look like Logan got the upper hand just as Cop Mom arrives.
Damon: Oopsie, he was stronger than I thought.
After dropping Caroline off at home--I hope--Stefan returns to Career Day. This time, Elena actually did what she was told and she's there waiting for him. He assures Elena that he dropped Caroline off at the house and Damon's dealing with Logan right as they speak. (Me: No he's not.) Stefan uses the day's events to illustrate again why he and Elena could never be together. Now would be a good time for Elena to tell Stefan to blow it out his rear. She's nicer than me and simply offers Stefan a ride home. She does, however, make it clear she won't take no for an answer.
Outside, Jeremy finds Tyler in his daily reflective state. Of course, Jeremy goes over to disturb him. Unaware that they aren't fighting anymore, Jeremy asks Tyler if his father's always a douchebag.
Tyler: Only when he has the stress of finding vampires on his shoulders.
Jeremy: Huh?
Just when it looks like things are about to go well for Jeremy and Tyler, Tyler's years of living with Mayor Lockwood catch up to him and he socks Jeremy in the face. Ouch! You just punched your art soulmate, Ty. Tyler runs off to cry in the girls' bathroom.
(An aside: don't think I didn't notice the full moon hanging over Tyler's head when he unexpectedly punched Jeremy, VD camera dude. I know where you're headed with it...and I don't like it one bit.)
Elena, whose night might also end in tears, drives Stefan home; though, Stefan could have probably walked a lot faster. Being stuck in the car has its perks. Elena finally reveals what she wanted to be: A writer. Oh, just like her crazy ancestor Jonathan Gilbert who wrote about vampires and demons. They do say write what you know...
So, Elena wanted to be a writer and she had the encouragement from her mother, who bought Elena her first journal, which we haven't seen Elena write in during these past few episodes. Because it was her and her mother's "thing", Elena doesn't feel right continuing on that career path. Okay, because honoring your mother's memory by continuing to write hasn't crossed your mind. Gotcha.
Getting too sentimental, Elena turns the conversation back to Stefan and their relationship. "I know that you think that you brought all of this bad stuff into my life, but my life already had it. I was buried in it." Stefan pulls the old "I'm leaving you to protect you" argument. He leaves the car to go write about his angst in his journal. Since she hasn't written in months, Elena doesn't want anyone to be able to write. That and because she doesn't want Stefan to make the choice for her that they're relationship is doomed! She storms out of the car where she professes her love to Stefan. Yeah, like that will make him stay.
Stefan: Nooooo! Not the "L" word. I must...be...strong...must fight it...off...Damn you, strings of love!
Stefan can only fight for so long before he and Elena start making out. Huh, if it was that easy, Elena should have just said the "L" word three episodes ago. I mean, it's not like this startling revelation that she loves him. She's been fighting it off for a while--she just finally has enough balls to say it tonight. Quite possibly she had the realization it would be her last time.
Elena and Stefan start making out all over the Salvatore Boarding House. She's being backed into walls up and down the hallway--which makes for a very horny vampire. Stefan breaks away to fight his vampire self.
Elena: Oh, Hale, no, mister.
She tells Stefan, "Don't hide from me." See, Stefan, she really wants you, warts and all. Stefan slowly turns around to reveal his blackened eyes and veiny skin around the eyes. In truth, the effect does look slightly less pronounced than usual. You know, so nobody freaks out that the heroine is making out with a monster.
As it would naturally be, Stefan's vampire face turns Elena on. (You nasty freak.) It isn't long before she has led him upstairs and they are in his bedroom. We all know where this leads to...
There are close-ups of Stefan and Elena kissing, close-ups of undressing, a close-up of the obligatory hand clutching other hand. (We just went there seriously, Kevin Williamson?) And yes, even a close-up of Elena's vervain necklace because OMG! Stefan didn't force her to have sex with him--Elena wanted it all this time. If anything, she pushed him into it. I must admit, it is a nice reversal of roles. Bravo.
Usually I turn away from overtly sex scenes. Yes, I can watch someone get disemboweled or decapitated--but when it comes to watching two (sometimes more) people get it on, I change into a blushing Puritan, wave my lace fan, say, "Fiddle-lee-dee" and close my eyes until the unf-ing stops. This time, I didn't have to. The scene was pretty dull--the previews made it look hotter than it truly was. The music was the most irritating part, causing me to watch with my hands over my ears.
As Stefan and Elena get it on, the camera moves outside to show the Salvatore Boarding House all lit up like a Christmas tree. Then, it fades to black. It's no train driving through a tunnel or shooting star streaking the night sky, but it'll do.
Finding out what the other denizens of Mystic Falls are up to, Logan leaves his body stashing warehouse to meet up with Damon, presumably. Let's hope this rendezvous works out better than the one Damon had with Bonnie/Emily. Perhaps Damon's going to the do the backstabbing because it sounds like someone's stalking Logan.
The mysterious person is not Damon, but Alaric. This is going to be good. Alaric is there to defend Jenna and tell Logan to back the fuck off. Got it, dude? "Jenna's a good person, she deserves the best." Let me guess, the better vampire would be you, Alaric? So true.
Thing is, Logan has no idea who Alaric is. He believes with all his non-beating heart that he has the upper hand in this trade-off of words. Logan prepares his attack by turning around to put his fangs in. He goes in for the kill. So does Alaric.
Logan: *attacks*
Alaric: *stakes*
Me: Holy Buffy the Vampire Slayer Batman!
I'm guessing Alaric is the tortured slayer who made it his mission to kill vampires after they killed his wife and turned him into one of them. So...he's more like Blade than Buffy. Who cares. It also makes me think maybe Alaric didn't turn Logan, for the sheer fact I can't imagine what Alaric wanted Logan for. Unless it's some big conspiracy for Jenna to realize how much of a douchebag he was, Logan didn't do anything besides act like an annoying bitch and whine over Stefan and Damon's ability to walk in the sun. Therefore, there has to be another vampire in town. Gah! This is going to get old pretty fast.
But seriously, the best part is Alaric just walks off like a badass. No dragging the body off to hide it. He makes no snarky comment like, "And stay dead, mother fucker." No, Alaric just leaves...which is really cool and hot and I’m really digging this version of Alaric.
At school, Tyler is loitering in the parking lot. What? Is he trying to pick another fight? If so, Matt go back inside! Though, you could totally take down Tyler with one arm tied behind you. Tyler isn't looking for a fight--he wants a ride home. Matt agrees, but then goes all tweeny on Tyler about Caroline.
Matt: I don't care what you say about her, I like her. She's pretty, she smells nice, her hair is blonde. We could have pretty, good smellin', blonde kids. So, quit with the bromance between us because it would never work out. Plus, our kids would look terrible.
Tyler: Dude, I just wanted a ride home.
Since we've brought up Caroline, Cop Mom must be relieved to find her nice and safe in her bedroom--and without a lump on her forehead from where her head collided with the car window. Caroline must have a really thick skull. Shortly thereafter, Cop Mom gets an urgent phone call. Either there's a sale going on at Dunkin’ Donuts, or someone has found Logan's body.
Meanwhile, the two main lovebirds are in the awkward moment after sexing where they have to talk about their feelings. Elena muses on never being in Stefan's room. It's better than her starting to make wedding plans for them, so Stefan goes with it. He talks about how his bedroom at the Salvatore Boarding House is his sanctuary because he can keep it the same. It's constant, which is, like, a must for all vampires since they have forever. "This room holds every memory I thought was important enough to hold on to." Aww, and now he's holding onto Elena. It's so sweet.
Elena: Hey, what's that hole in the wall doing there and why is it marked "Elena Gilbert"?
Stefan: Oh...that. Um, thirsty?
Stefan and Elena have a good laugh after Elena asks the same thing of Stefan. Checking my watch, Awkward After Sex Time has to be going into overtime. Stefan leaves before he does take Elena up on her suggestion that he's thirsty. Alone in the room of Stefan's cherished memories, Elena goes through them. Why, I bet nothing will go wrong.
Elena: *finds the photograph of a girl who looks shockingly like her, it must be a tricky mirror that looks like a photograph, only it's not glass and it has Katherine's name and the date "1864" scrawled on the bottom of it...Oh. My. God.*
Aaaand...having sex with Stefan is leaving a really bad aftertaste in Elena.
On the scene of other misfortunate fools, Cop Mom indeed was called in to identify one Logan “Dead Again” Asshat. She calls Damon to thank him for taking care of Logan. Of course, Damon has no idea what Cop Mom is talking about. His main concern lies with learning his second chance of freeing Katherine has just been struck down.
Damon: It's like someone's purposefully dragging this out over a series of days/episodes! *stomps through woods like a pussy*
Who else thought things were looking up, before they took a drastic turn without him realizing? Stefan.
He returns with Elena's bottle of water--because, even though it's two vampires in the house now, Stefan makes sure the house is stocked with human provisions--and finds that she's gone. Confused at first, Stefan realizes Elena noticed the striking resemblance between her and Katherine. She's left behind her vervain necklace--almost like she's daring Stefan to mind freak her into forgetting what she saw--and a note.
Stefan: It was all for you, Elena! ALL FOR YOU!
Elena: *as she is driving on an isolated road* Did I just hear my name?
Elena is crying and driving, a huge no-no in paranormal series. You're just asking to hit someone--or something--when you do both things at the same time.
Elena: *hits someone--or something*
The car flips multiple times and comes to rest upside down. Elena's alive and still strapped into her seat by the seatbelt. Right about now, I would suspect she is having flashbacks to her parents' car accident. Before she can have a panic attack, Elena watches as the figure she hit slowly gets up and fixes its broken limbs.
As it stalks towards Elena, I am positive she learned her lesson about crying and driving. Or...it could be a message about having pre-martial sex and how it's wrong and all. I'm not quite sure.
And we're given a cliffhanger since it looks like VD won't be back with new episodes until the next year. Hallelujah! Oh, wait, there's more. Starting December 14, the CW is clogging their airwaves with showing the past ten episodes all week. Yeah, no thanks. Time for me to take a break from the show if I have 12 more episodes to get through. Until next year....
Next Episode: To Come...
Previous Episode
Last time we were with the gang from The Real Ghost Possessions of Mystic Falls, a whole lotta backstabbing went down. Damon backstabbed Stefan by revealing he made a deal with Emily Bennet--Bonnie's ancestor--that sealed Katherine in a super secret crypt below the church she was burned in. The backstabbing continued on Damon's end with the revelation that his "BIG plans" were to bring Katherine back with the use of Emily's amulet...as well as the 27 other vampires believed to have perished in the church. Needless to say, Stefan was not too happy. At the same time, Elena, Caroline, and Bonnie performed a little seance which resulted in Emily possessing Bonnie's body so she could destroy the necklace Damon was after--backstabbing him because he promised to protect her lineage if she swore to bring Katherine back. Being a witch, Emily was not bound to keep the same promise a vampire keeps and she destroyed the amulet, pissing Damon off in the process. He attacked Bonnie--who lived because Stefan is not afraid to exchange fluids, Edward--and pouted while he stared at Fell's Church. Damon told Stefan he was leaving Mystic Falls; likewise, Stefan said the same thing to Elena who really, really wants to make things work out now. We do not have to borrow Alice Cullen to know the Salvatore Brothers are going nowhere. And finally, Aunt Jenna is about to be stabbed in the neck at any time because both of her gentlemen callers--Alaric "Can't Cross Over a Threshold Without an Invite" Saltzman and Not-So-Dead-As-Previously-Thought Logan--appear to be vampires.
The show picks up where it left off with Logan begging for an all access pass to the Gilbert house. Aunt Jenna, be strong. Logan plays along with the out of town story Jenna tells him. He is less playful when he learns someone sent the story to Jenna in an email. (My guess is Cop Mom.) Once again, Logan begs to be invited in. Note to Logan, do not bring up your ex-girlfriend's lack of self esteem when you want something from her. Like a good girl, Aunt Jenna slams the door in Logan's face.
Shut down by a stupid wooden door, Logan goes out to score. By "score", I mean kill someone. There's the old guy next door who's taking out his garbage. How about the perky, female jogger that’s coming towards you? Female jogger it is. The jogger, who introduces herself as Daphne, recognizes Logan as the guy on the T.V. Logan recognizes her as his dinner and he eats her.
...Title card flashes...
The next morning, Jeremy is reading from his ancestor's journal. Out loud for the audience to hear, instead of making them try to decipher the tiny, cursive handwriting. Basically, the entry talks about Jonathan Gilbert's--that would be the ancestor--fear of the evening. Something evil lurks there. It may or may not be dating Jonathan's sister.
Jeremy: Inspired!
Jeremy drags out his sketching pad and begins to draw. Because that's his hobby, obviously. It's nice to see a Gilbert doing something, isn't it, Elena? Lead on by Jonathan Gilbert's journal, Jeremy sketches out a vampire.
Spying him drawing again, Elena runs downstairs and tattles to Aunt Jenna. Gosh! First he's doing homework and extra credit, now he's drawing! What's next--is Jeremy all of sudden going to start planning for his future? The celebration that Jeremy's acting more normal than ever passes and Jenna asks Elena how things are going with Stefan. Elena tells her hip, young guardian that Stefan's moving away. Woe! Aunt Jenna changes the subject with bringing up her own male issues. Logan’s back, and Jenna don’t like it. Elena suggests Jenna should ignore Logan.
Elena: Maybe he'll go away like last time.
I don't think so, but keep livin' the dream, Elena.
At the Salvatore Boarding House, Stefan wants to know where Damon plans to going. Damon jokes London, where he has friends. "You don't have any friends," Stefan points out. Nor do you, Stefan, what with Damon staking them all and you pushing away the one person who might care about you. Damon then suggests they go some place together. Stefan's not having the same vision. "I'm going to live my life as far away from you as possible." I'm starting to get that Damon has abandonment issues. Explains why he can't give up on Katherine. Too bad she's stuck in her crypt now that Emily destroyed the voodoo necklace.
Stefan and Damon are interrupted by the doorbell ringing. Ah, Elena's stopped by...No, it's Cop Mom. Guess they found Logan's victim, as she's there to speak with Damon. Making Cop Mom believe Stefan has no idea about vampires (snort!), Damon leads her out back. Cop Mom totally understands: "Of course, kids are too young to be brought into this." Never mind Stefan's old enough to be your great grandfather and he doesn't look that much younger than Damon.
Cop Mom gets right to her visit and tells Damon there's been another vampire attack. Well, give a gold star to Cop Mom. Guess it's time to round-up all the new arrivals. Given how small the town seems to be, I don't think that'll be a problem. Why don't you start over at the high school and question the new history teacher? Better yet, why don't you go and find out if Logan's body is where you buried it.
Seriously messing with Damon's vacation plans, Cop Mom taps Damon for his help. He is the only one who has staked a vampire...besides Stefan, who's too young for these sorts of things, and who is overhearing the conversation from the living room.
At least things are looking up for Caroline and Matt (CarMatt) as they giggle like school girls in the hallway. The look on Tyler's face reads Matt is bonkers for going out with Caroline. Even Elena realizes they are hanging out more than normal--but admits it beats dating Damon who, thus far, has tried to kill both of Elena's best friends. Talking about that, it's so weird hearing Bonnie talk about Damon and Stefan as vampires. I'm going to need to get use to it. Sadly, won't happen for a while, as Bonnie's only purpose is to say she's dealing with the vampire secret, but she's grateful that Stefan saved her life.
When asked about him again, Elena's mood is non-too brighter. She believes he's already gone. Bonnie says she smoking crack because he'd at least say goodbye. Elena thinks he wouldn't. Bonnie finally realizes Elena is smoking crack because she still cares about Stefan--maybe even loves him--even though he's a vampire. Determined to move forward with her life, Elena tries convincing herself she would be selfish if she asked Stefan to stay. Bonnie agrees, bringing up that Elena and Stefan could never have a future together. And then The Banner of Future falls on Elena. Without Bonnie's help I might add. I should also add I did not make up the banner part--it really says "future" and "promise" but has to do more with Career Day that's going on than Elena's relationship issues. I think.
Wrangling Damon into the vampire staking club once more, Cop Mom leaves so the two brothers can get back to their hostility and resentment towards one another. Stefan blames Damon for the recent "animal attack", while Damon says it wasn't him: "It's another vampire in town." Stefan would be more inclined to believe Damon, if D-bag hadn't been off killing people earlier in the season. Bright spot, this new human killing makes it clear Stefan can't go without the problem being solved. Goooooooo, Team!
So, he goes to Mystic Falls High to wait for Elena. When she comes out, she thinks she is looking at a mirage. No, Elena, you are not having a Bella moment. It really is Stefan. Don't go cliff jumping, please.
At the same time, there's a quick shot of Tyler interrogating Matt about Caroline Gate. It's brief, hardly worth a mention, but it needs to be pointed out that Matt--once again--brushes off the relationship as nothing exciting. You are on notice, Matt.
Stefan fills Elena in on Cop Mom's visit a few hours ago. He finally rules out his brother, since Damon's trying to keep a low profile. (Yes, having the Mystic Falls' Sheriff know you can stake vampires counts in keeping one’s activities really low on the radar.) At any rate, Damon's tracking the vampire now and Stefan just came by to tell Elena to be careful. That is all. He didn't come by to say he was staying or that he wants Elena like a fat kid wants cake. It is purely on a professional level. M'kay? Peace out.
Elena's let down. She thought he was saying goodbye. It would really help in her moving on department. Even Stefan's lame "not yet" answer in terms of his departure plans disappoints Elena. Dear God, woman, I can see the “I love you” hearts shooting from your eyes. Jump him already. I am not going to sit through 12 more episodes of you flip-flopping over wanting Stefan. I swear I won't!
On a lighter side, Jeremy is still drawing vampires. Oh, is he planning a new vampire comic book? Because those never get old! /sarcasm
Aunt Jenna questions Jeremy about his return to art.
Jenna: Not that it's bad or anything, and it's not like I'm suggesting you go back to your old ways of smoking pot and drinking alcohol. It's just...you're starting to freak me out, Jeremy. Just a little.
Jeremy explains that he found his new muse: Jonathan Gilbert's diary from the 1800's. It all makes sense to Jenna now. She tells Jeremy that Jonathan was a writer...of fiction. He wrote about vampires and demons, in a truly fictitious sense. Jonathan made things up...because it wasn’t non-fiction he was interested in. Jeremy's let down, believing Jonathan Gilbert was a little insane, not that he had an over active imagination. Boy, I cannot wait until Jeremy finds out what Elena knows.
Leaving the debate over Jonathan Gilbert's level of delusions, we find Caroline to be the insane one because she's helping Damon track down
Not thinking anything bad could happen in a rundown, spooky, old warehouse, Damon pops on in for a quick look. And is promptly gunned down by Logan toting a gun and wooden bullets.
Damon: Dammit! I just bought this shirt!
He tries to reason with Logan to put the gun down...bang!...but Logan's not interested. Logan’s blames Damon for what he's become. (That is only partially the truth.) Damon fesses up that he only killed Logan, someone else turned him into a vampire. That makes two vampires in Mystic Falls. Damon wants to know who the other is. It's the Question of the Day--who turned Logan?--and it's going to be asked over and over and over. My money's on Alaric, since he's the only other vampire in town.
Back to the tragic Ode of Logan: Logan tells Damon he was buried behind the used car lot near the highway. So that's where the kids of Mystic Falls put the pet sematary. Good to know for future reference.
Damon explains the process of becoming a Count Dracula, which the audience knows by heart. It doesn’t help Logan in answering the Question of the Day. During this whole exchange, Damon is picking wooden splinters out of his wounds and mumbling the occasional "huh uh" to show he's listening to Logan.
Where Vicki was pathetic as a vampire, Logan's a tad more psychotic. And by "tad" I mean extremely. Logan's finding it very frustrating to be a vampire. Mostly, it's the whole invitation inside homes deal. That’s because he lives alone; therefore he can never go home.
Logan: "So now I'm at the Ramada watching pay-per-view all day, eating everything in sight, including housekeeping."
But, it doesn’t stop there. Logan likes the killing part of being a vampire. A lot. Proud of his work, Logan shows Damon where he's been keeping the bodies. It's right here in the warehouse. My, that's a big stack. I've said it before, I'll say it again: Mystic Falls is going to need to start importing red shirts to maintain their population.
Leaving Damon's roundtable chat with Logan for the time being, Career Day at Mystic Falls High is underway. Really? They still have those things? I don't remember my high school having a Career Day. Huh. Before we actually get into the career planning, Cop Mom and Mayor Lockwood are discussing their latest vampire problem. Awww, how cute. They think they're safe because they are in a crowded area. Too bad the vampires are walking amongst you.
At the fair, Jeremy runs into Tyler. Same old, same with the two, Tyler acts like a jackass and Jeremy plays the dopey kid brother. But, Jeremy soon discovers that Tyler has a hidden talent for drawing. Like him! Does this mean they're going to be rivals or could they become best friends? They got the rival thing done pretty good--why mess with a good thing?
Continue to focus on the future of our main characters, Elena teases Matt about his wanting to be an astronaut when he was younger. And what do you want to be, missy? Elena is not spilling. They spend some time catching up. Matt asks about Stefan, Elena turns all different colors of red and pulls the reliable "Oh, look over there!" distraction. Caroline watches the whole ordeal from afar. Since Elena and Matt have a history together, the scene doesn't do much for Caroline's self esteem and she walks away from it. Caroline leaves just as Elena asks Matt about the two of them. It's a good thing Caroline isn't around because, just with Tyler, Matt claims it is nothing important. What is with these kids and expressing their true emotions? Matt, I'm going to strangle you if you don't step up and...Oh, hey, Stefan.
Checking in with Damon and his new vampire buddy (“See, Stefan? I do have friends.”), Logan has moved from the aggressive stage to the bitter stage. Logan hates that all he think about Aunt Jenna. "Why am I so overly emotional?" The million dollar answer is provided by Damon: "Well, you probably love her." Fun Vampire Fact: Human emotions get amplified when they're turned into a vampire. Logan does not like so much. In his anger, he spills a big secret to Damon. Seems The Council has journals that are passed down through the founding families. Obviously, something happened to keep Jonathan Gilbert's journal away from The Council. It makes me think maybe there was a pulling away on the Gilberts’ side from The Council.
Just like the question of the day is who turned Logan (*coughAlaricSaltzmancough*), Logan has his own hang up about Damon's ability to walk in the sun. They banter on back and forth like an old married couple. Neither spills their secret--one of whom doesn't know the answer and the other being too stubborn to reveal his. Logan decides to take his anger out on the unsuspecting townspeople. He shoots Damon a few more times for a head start.
Damon: Aw, come on, man. I just finished picking the wood out of this shirt. son of a bitch, who does he think he is, gonna get him back...
At the Career Fair--where I assume Logan is headed--Stefan is there to watch out for Elena, not plan out his future. That's really been planned out for him. Elena doesn't want to be baby-sat and tries to shake him off. So he can stay near her, Stefan tells her that he wanted to be a doctor. Back before he started to have "blood issues." Dr. Cullen sure doesn't seem to have an issue.
Stefan continues by telling Elena that he tried out all sorts of things during his 140 years of being undead. The "lots of things" part strikes Elena. "Didn't love anything enough to stick to it?" she asks, not knowing that there is one thing Stefan seems to really love to stick around for. (Hint: it’s you, Elena!) Or, maybe she does know and is trying to bait him. Not taking the worm, Stefan explains he had to move on before people realized he didn't age--like he has to do now.
Elena: But, you've only been here a couple months. People don't notice if you age in that amount of time.
Stefan: No, I must go before they catch on. I must. It is my curse as a vampire.
He then asks Elena what she wants to be in her future. Yeah, like brown haired, mortal girls in love with vampires actually have future goals. Aaaaand, Elena wants to be...nothing. For the love of--! Oh, I see what you're doing. Elena doesn't care about her future when it doesn't include Stefan. Oh, jeez. How many cliffs are there in Mystic Falls? Taking a bullet for Stefan--something Damon would admire--Elena tells Stefan to leave so the pain can't become worse by him dragging his feet in the mud. Your selflessness reminds me of another girl who had no hopes and/or dreams, Elena. Tread carefully.
The pity party lets up with Aunt Jenna hurrying over. She's upset because he's here. The "he" would be Logan. Knowing Logan is suppose to be dead, Stefan's spidey sense goes off. He leaves, just like Elena wanted--only Elena doesn't really want him to go so she's distressed and follows Stefan to beg him to stay again because it worked so well in the woods and surely he can’t deny her twice, can he?
Stefan locates Logan in another room...and he does not approve.
Stefan: I don't approve, Logan. I don't like you showing up here like this.
The two vampire boys are joined by the very living Elena and Aunt Jenna. As Elena has no idea what happened to Logan, I can understand why she isn't keeping her distance. Stefan sort of fills in the blanks by hinting to Elena she and Jenna should go someplace else.
When they've left, Stefan asks Logan what he wants. A true One Tune Tommy, Logan wants to know how he can become a day-walker. He tries to force Stefan into telling him by reminding him of his celebrity status. It would be so easy for him to reveal vampires exist, according to Logan. Stefan doesn't buy his bluff. He tells Logan he can never learn how to walk in the day and to stop making his silly threats.
While the boys sort things out, Elena grills Aunt Jenna about Logan's unannounced visit the night before. Jenna replies he seemed a bit manic and kept insisting that he be invited in. Elena knows for certain now. She puts her foot down and tells Jenna not to speak or look at Logan ever again. Aunt Jenna looks at Elena like she's lost it. Now is the time for that other vampire, Alaric Saltzman, to join Elena and Aunt Jenna. Elena believes he's vampire free, so she leaves Jenna in his care. Going to regret that if Jenna’s bloodless body is discovered in the storage closet at the end of the night, Elena.
Elena finds Stefan outside talking on the phone to Damon. Damon's hysterical over being pawned by a loser like Logan, so he's itching for some revenge. He tells Stefan he's coming over to the school. Elena gives Stefan the "We need to talk. No, seriously." look.
During the time Stefan takes to fill Elena in, Caroline shows Cop Mom what she wants to be: A broadcast journalist. Cop Mom is...not so supportive and points out that Caroline never reads the paper. No wonder Caroline has issues. Once Caroline's left, Logan makes his presence known to Cop Mom. Just as suspected, it was Cop Mom who buried Logan's body in the pet sematary--but she didn't turn him. Logan is not happy, mostly because he didn't know there would be no death benefits provided by The Council if he should die in the line of duty. Them's the brakes, sweetie. Since Logan revealed himself to Cop Mom, it’s clear she's going to have to stake him. She calls in back-up.
Nursing the similarity high, Jeremy tries to connect with Tyler on an artistic level. Tyler does not want to play. "Let's hang out because we did the same chick," he sarcastically says. He tells Jeremy that Vicki did a lot of guys--Jeremy should look them up. This sets Jeremy off and he slams Tyler into the lockers. The fight is short lived as Mayor Lockwood and Alaric break the two up. Mayor Lockwood grabs Jeremy and takes him outside, much to Alaric's chagrin.
Already outside is Caroline. She’s waiting for Bonnie as Logan pulls. He offers to drive her home. As Bonnie is not seen for the rest of the episode, Caroline accepts. I don't know what is worse, Caroline's lack of a vampire radar, or the fact that Logan use to baby-sit Caroline when she was younger. Really, Cop Mom? You let Logan take care of your daughter? I just...I do not understand. Not adding to the situation is Matt clearly standing a few feet away, watching the whole thing. No, CarMatt must live on! It must!
Caroline takes the opportunity to interview Logan about the wonderful world of journalism for her future. If she has one after this...
Caroline: So, when did you know you wanted to be a journalist?
Logan: Not now, Caroline.
Caroline: Who was your favorite interview?
Logan: Don't care, Caroline.
Caroline: You know, you should really tan or something. Your pasty look doesn't translate well on the television screen.
Logan: ARGGG!
Logan slams Caroline's head into the car window and speeds away. Poor Caroline. First it's Damon using her as a drinking well, then he tries to rip out her throat. Later Damon calls her as deep as a kiddie pool. Now her skull has been crushed by Logan. That girl is going to have one hell of a migraine.
Inside, Elena and Stefan are trying to track down Logan after they got distracted from keeping an eye on him. Gee, could they have been staring into each other's eyes for too long? They run into Matt who tells them he saw Logan drive off with Caroline. Stefan goes off, telling Elena to stay at the school. Here's hoping she listens–‘cause, really, when was the last time she did?
The Littlest Gilbert is also under the control of authority, as Mayor Lockwood drags him and Tyler outside to continue what they started. Apparently, real men fight their battles not in the school, but outside it so they don't get caught. Jeremy sort of blinks at the reasoning, as do I. Tyler, surprisingly, doesn't want to fight anymore. Mayor Lockwood gets testy and for a second I think he's about to fight Jeremy himself. All fighting plans are spoiled when Alaric joins the festivities. Mr. Lockwood asks what Alaric thinks he's doing. Scoring points for me, Alaric tells Mayor Lockwood what he thinks of him, "You look like a full grown, alpha male douchebag."
Jeremy: Wow, Mr. Alaric, sir, you’re a badass.
Never being told to his face what he truly his, Mayor Lockwood tells Alaric he can take his job away. Considering the last history teacher got eaten by a vampire, good luck with that, Mr. Lockwood. A very un-Alpha dog thing, Mayor Lockwood tucks his tail between his legs and leaves. So, maybe the VD producers did know what they were doing when they cast Matt Davis. Hmmm....
With two vampires and the Mystic Falls police force after him, Logan takes the time out of his busy schedule to call Cop Mom and gloat that he has her daughter--even going as far as to tell Cop Mom he's going to turn Caroline into a vampire. Don't make threats you cannot keep, Logan. Though he's a vampire, Logan still follows the common laws of the mortals and slows down at the intersection...Giving Stefan the perfect opportunity to tear the car door open and fling Logan on the ground.
Logan: I was stopping for the stop sign, you asshole!
As he tries to get up, Damon arrives looking for payback.
Damon: Eat wood, mother fucker!
Logan whines like a little girl now that the shoe is on the other foot and he's peppered with wooden bullets. Stefan takes Caroline home, leaving his homicidal brother to finish off Logan. Before that, Damon finishes up Logan’s call with Cop Mom and let’s her know where he is. Damon can only perform with an audience, it seems.
Killing time before the law enforcement arrives, Damon asks the Question of the Day. Look, Logan's made it pretty clear he doesn't know. Move on, Damon. Logan calls Damon out for siding with the humans--which, I guess, must be an insult in vampire language. It works and Damon goes in for the final staking. Lo! What's this? Logan brings up the vampire tomb holding Katherine. For someone who was just turned into a vampire, Logan sure knows a lot about The Tomb. Especially since he tells Damon he knows another way of unlocking it. Damon, I think Logan's pulling your leg. He's a reporter--he'd say anything to get you to put down your stake.
Naturally with The Tomb invoked, Damon becomes intrigued and puts down his stake. Where are your sense of morals, Damon? Logan tells Damon he'll help him open up The Tomb. First, though, Damon stages the scene to make it look like Logan got the upper hand just as Cop Mom arrives.
Damon: Oopsie, he was stronger than I thought.
After dropping Caroline off at home--I hope--Stefan returns to Career Day. This time, Elena actually did what she was told and she's there waiting for him. He assures Elena that he dropped Caroline off at the house and Damon's dealing with Logan right as they speak. (Me: No he's not.) Stefan uses the day's events to illustrate again why he and Elena could never be together. Now would be a good time for Elena to tell Stefan to blow it out his rear. She's nicer than me and simply offers Stefan a ride home. She does, however, make it clear she won't take no for an answer.
Outside, Jeremy finds Tyler in his daily reflective state. Of course, Jeremy goes over to disturb him. Unaware that they aren't fighting anymore, Jeremy asks Tyler if his father's always a douchebag.
Tyler: Only when he has the stress of finding vampires on his shoulders.
Jeremy: Huh?
Just when it looks like things are about to go well for Jeremy and Tyler, Tyler's years of living with Mayor Lockwood catch up to him and he socks Jeremy in the face. Ouch! You just punched your art soulmate, Ty. Tyler runs off to cry in the girls' bathroom.
(An aside: don't think I didn't notice the full moon hanging over Tyler's head when he unexpectedly punched Jeremy, VD camera dude. I know where you're headed with it...and I don't like it one bit.)
Elena, whose night might also end in tears, drives Stefan home; though, Stefan could have probably walked a lot faster. Being stuck in the car has its perks. Elena finally reveals what she wanted to be: A writer. Oh, just like her crazy ancestor Jonathan Gilbert who wrote about vampires and demons. They do say write what you know...
So, Elena wanted to be a writer and she had the encouragement from her mother, who bought Elena her first journal, which we haven't seen Elena write in during these past few episodes. Because it was her and her mother's "thing", Elena doesn't feel right continuing on that career path. Okay, because honoring your mother's memory by continuing to write hasn't crossed your mind. Gotcha.
Getting too sentimental, Elena turns the conversation back to Stefan and their relationship. "I know that you think that you brought all of this bad stuff into my life, but my life already had it. I was buried in it." Stefan pulls the old "I'm leaving you to protect you" argument. He leaves the car to go write about his angst in his journal. Since she hasn't written in months, Elena doesn't want anyone to be able to write. That and because she doesn't want Stefan to make the choice for her that they're relationship is doomed! She storms out of the car where she professes her love to Stefan. Yeah, like that will make him stay.
Stefan: Nooooo! Not the "L" word. I must...be...strong...must fight it...off...Damn you, strings of love!
Stefan can only fight for so long before he and Elena start making out. Huh, if it was that easy, Elena should have just said the "L" word three episodes ago. I mean, it's not like this startling revelation that she loves him. She's been fighting it off for a while--she just finally has enough balls to say it tonight. Quite possibly she had the realization it would be her last time.
Elena and Stefan start making out all over the Salvatore Boarding House. She's being backed into walls up and down the hallway--which makes for a very horny vampire. Stefan breaks away to fight his vampire self.
Elena: Oh, Hale, no, mister.
She tells Stefan, "Don't hide from me." See, Stefan, she really wants you, warts and all. Stefan slowly turns around to reveal his blackened eyes and veiny skin around the eyes. In truth, the effect does look slightly less pronounced than usual. You know, so nobody freaks out that the heroine is making out with a monster.
As it would naturally be, Stefan's vampire face turns Elena on. (You nasty freak.) It isn't long before she has led him upstairs and they are in his bedroom. We all know where this leads to...
There are close-ups of Stefan and Elena kissing, close-ups of undressing, a close-up of the obligatory hand clutching other hand. (We just went there seriously, Kevin Williamson?) And yes, even a close-up of Elena's vervain necklace because OMG! Stefan didn't force her to have sex with him--Elena wanted it all this time. If anything, she pushed him into it. I must admit, it is a nice reversal of roles. Bravo.
Usually I turn away from overtly sex scenes. Yes, I can watch someone get disemboweled or decapitated--but when it comes to watching two (sometimes more) people get it on, I change into a blushing Puritan, wave my lace fan, say, "Fiddle-lee-dee" and close my eyes until the unf-ing stops. This time, I didn't have to. The scene was pretty dull--the previews made it look hotter than it truly was. The music was the most irritating part, causing me to watch with my hands over my ears.
As Stefan and Elena get it on, the camera moves outside to show the Salvatore Boarding House all lit up like a Christmas tree. Then, it fades to black. It's no train driving through a tunnel or shooting star streaking the night sky, but it'll do.
Finding out what the other denizens of Mystic Falls are up to, Logan leaves his body stashing warehouse to meet up with Damon, presumably. Let's hope this rendezvous works out better than the one Damon had with Bonnie/Emily. Perhaps Damon's going to the do the backstabbing because it sounds like someone's stalking Logan.
The mysterious person is not Damon, but Alaric. This is going to be good. Alaric is there to defend Jenna and tell Logan to back the fuck off. Got it, dude? "Jenna's a good person, she deserves the best." Let me guess, the better vampire would be you, Alaric? So true.
Thing is, Logan has no idea who Alaric is. He believes with all his non-beating heart that he has the upper hand in this trade-off of words. Logan prepares his attack by turning around to put his fangs in. He goes in for the kill. So does Alaric.
Logan: *attacks*
Alaric: *stakes*
Me: Holy Buffy the Vampire Slayer Batman!
I'm guessing Alaric is the tortured slayer who made it his mission to kill vampires after they killed his wife and turned him into one of them. So...he's more like Blade than Buffy. Who cares. It also makes me think maybe Alaric didn't turn Logan, for the sheer fact I can't imagine what Alaric wanted Logan for. Unless it's some big conspiracy for Jenna to realize how much of a douchebag he was, Logan didn't do anything besides act like an annoying bitch and whine over Stefan and Damon's ability to walk in the sun. Therefore, there has to be another vampire in town. Gah! This is going to get old pretty fast.
But seriously, the best part is Alaric just walks off like a badass. No dragging the body off to hide it. He makes no snarky comment like, "And stay dead, mother fucker." No, Alaric just leaves...which is really cool and hot and I’m really digging this version of Alaric.
At school, Tyler is loitering in the parking lot. What? Is he trying to pick another fight? If so, Matt go back inside! Though, you could totally take down Tyler with one arm tied behind you. Tyler isn't looking for a fight--he wants a ride home. Matt agrees, but then goes all tweeny on Tyler about Caroline.
Matt: I don't care what you say about her, I like her. She's pretty, she smells nice, her hair is blonde. We could have pretty, good smellin', blonde kids. So, quit with the bromance between us because it would never work out. Plus, our kids would look terrible.
Tyler: Dude, I just wanted a ride home.
Since we've brought up Caroline, Cop Mom must be relieved to find her nice and safe in her bedroom--and without a lump on her forehead from where her head collided with the car window. Caroline must have a really thick skull. Shortly thereafter, Cop Mom gets an urgent phone call. Either there's a sale going on at Dunkin’ Donuts, or someone has found Logan's body.
Meanwhile, the two main lovebirds are in the awkward moment after sexing where they have to talk about their feelings. Elena muses on never being in Stefan's room. It's better than her starting to make wedding plans for them, so Stefan goes with it. He talks about how his bedroom at the Salvatore Boarding House is his sanctuary because he can keep it the same. It's constant, which is, like, a must for all vampires since they have forever. "This room holds every memory I thought was important enough to hold on to." Aww, and now he's holding onto Elena. It's so sweet.
Elena: Hey, what's that hole in the wall doing there and why is it marked "Elena Gilbert"?
Stefan: Oh...that. Um, thirsty?
Stefan and Elena have a good laugh after Elena asks the same thing of Stefan. Checking my watch, Awkward After Sex Time has to be going into overtime. Stefan leaves before he does take Elena up on her suggestion that he's thirsty. Alone in the room of Stefan's cherished memories, Elena goes through them. Why, I bet nothing will go wrong.
Elena: *finds the photograph of a girl who looks shockingly like her, it must be a tricky mirror that looks like a photograph, only it's not glass and it has Katherine's name and the date "1864" scrawled on the bottom of it...Oh. My. God.*
Aaaand...having sex with Stefan is leaving a really bad aftertaste in Elena.
On the scene of other misfortunate fools, Cop Mom indeed was called in to identify one Logan “Dead Again” Asshat. She calls Damon to thank him for taking care of Logan. Of course, Damon has no idea what Cop Mom is talking about. His main concern lies with learning his second chance of freeing Katherine has just been struck down.
Damon: It's like someone's purposefully dragging this out over a series of days/episodes! *stomps through woods like a pussy*
Who else thought things were looking up, before they took a drastic turn without him realizing? Stefan.
He returns with Elena's bottle of water--because, even though it's two vampires in the house now, Stefan makes sure the house is stocked with human provisions--and finds that she's gone. Confused at first, Stefan realizes Elena noticed the striking resemblance between her and Katherine. She's left behind her vervain necklace--almost like she's daring Stefan to mind freak her into forgetting what she saw--and a note.
Stefan: It was all for you, Elena! ALL FOR YOU!
Elena: *as she is driving on an isolated road* Did I just hear my name?
Elena is crying and driving, a huge no-no in paranormal series. You're just asking to hit someone--or something--when you do both things at the same time.
Elena: *hits someone--or something*
The car flips multiple times and comes to rest upside down. Elena's alive and still strapped into her seat by the seatbelt. Right about now, I would suspect she is having flashbacks to her parents' car accident. Before she can have a panic attack, Elena watches as the figure she hit slowly gets up and fixes its broken limbs.
As it stalks towards Elena, I am positive she learned her lesson about crying and driving. Or...it could be a message about having pre-martial sex and how it's wrong and all. I'm not quite sure.
And we're given a cliffhanger since it looks like VD won't be back with new episodes until the next year. Hallelujah! Oh, wait, there's more. Starting December 14, the CW is clogging their airwaves with showing the past ten episodes all week. Yeah, no thanks. Time for me to take a break from the show if I have 12 more episodes to get through. Until next year....
Next Episode: To Come...
